Spouse Philosophy

n.  a set of ideas or principals or beliefs

Is very easy as a military spouse to simply blend into your surroundings and not stretch yourself. When you move every 2-3 years on average, sometimes the philosophy is "why bother"; just when you hit your stride you have to pack up again.

Even though I am moving in a month, yesterday I went to a lunch and learn concerning the Key Spouse program.  The Lieutenant General's wife read this poem to us by Helen Steiner Rice:

We cannot all be famous
Or be listed in "Who's Who,"
But every person, great or small,
Has important work to do.

For seldom do we realize
The importance of small deeds,
Or to what degree of greatness
Unnoticed kindness leads.

For it's not the big celebrity
In a world of fame and praise,
But it's doing unpretentiously
In an undistinguished way.

The work that God assigned to us,
Unimportant as it seems,
That makes our task outstanding,
And brings reality to dreams.

So do not sit and idly wish
For wider, new dimensions
where you can put into practice,
Your many good intentions.

But at the spot God placed you
Begin at once to do,
Little things to brighten up
The lives surrounding you.

If everybody brightened up
The spot where their standing,
By being more considerate,
And a little less demanding.

This dark old world would very soon
Eclipse the evening star,
If everybody brightened up
The corner where they are!

This has always been my philosophy and hope it continues to be as long as I am sucking air.  

My greatest life lessons aren't necessarily from great sources or situations.  One year ago at her husband's retirement ceremony, I was thanked by a woman for carrying the group's spouse program.  This was a job I was ill prepared to take on, and only due to ignorance did I agree in the first place.   It was a sink or swim year for me, filled with mixed messages from this woman...she didn't want to lead, yet felt I was there to do her bidding at times.  I was polite, listened, and then did things my own damn way or told her no.  

What sticks with me the most was what she said to me as we finally parted ways:  

"Thank you for all you did this past year.  As a colonel's wife, I was on my way out and shouldn't have had to do anything."

Reeeeeally.  Needless to say, this was one woman who didn't feel it necessary to brighten the corner where she was, nor did she leave a positive impression on many spouses she met.  But she did leave an impression.  And one I hope not to repeat.  

There have been times I have done things completely bass-ackward, forgotten people, or fumbled and hurt others, but I never do it intentionally.  My mistakes are growing pains as I am a work in progress.  But know this...you will never see me sitting idly by, thanking others for doing something I won't do, and not doing the best I can to make my corner of the world, move after move, just a tad bit brighter.