While moving from Alabama to Florida in 2003, we were homeless for two months, backed out of buying two houses, lived off generosity of friends and family, and finally found a house that "would do". I now know all that chaos was so that we would meet the McAleenan family. They had just PCS'd also. Only from Italy. Jerks.
As you will read below, they were lucky enough to retire in their hometown. We were lucky enough to live next to them and become part of their wonderfully warped, twisted, large, and loving family, whom we love as much as our own. They kept me afloat during Justin's deployment. They introduced us to Relay for Life and Murder Mystery Dinners.
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| Sonny Bono, Kung Foo Fighter, Don't Ask, and Yes, that's His Own Chest Hair AKA Becky, Mike, me, and Justin |
We love us some McAleenans.
So world, meet Becky. Becky, the floor is yours (as usual...hahahahahaha):
Hometown: Rockledge FL, also my current hometown…
What you love about your hometown: I love that everybody knows everybody. I love the $1 picnic on July 4th, where people dress in red/white/blue and eat ice cream at the park. I love the family atmosphere and the small town ambiance. I love that Rockledge is not a destination, it’s a place to live. And, there’s the weather and close proximity to the beach.
College and degrees obtained: After only 20 years, I finally earned my bachelor of science in elementary education. I think, however, that military spouses should receive an honorary Masters of Spousery upon the retirement from the military. (I believe the “dependent” retires just like the active duty person, because BOTH serve 24/7)
What did you do in your past life (pre-military spouse): Well, my “past life” story is pretty short. Mike and I were high school sweethearts, so one year after I graduated from high school, we got married and ran off to see the world. I have donned many hats: cake baker, gourmet food store worker, McDonald’s Crew Chief, Office Mgr, Attendance Clerk, Substitute teacher, Personal Asst for special needs children, Insurance Adjuster Billing Clerk, transcriptionist… butcher, baker, candle-stick maker?
Years married: June 29th will be 27 years married… plus 4 dating… J
Years as a military spouse: 27 years… aka forever.
Kids and how many: I have two incredibly fabulous children! One, however, is no longer a child to anyone but me…our daughter, K, is soon 23 yrs old and graduating from the University of South Florida. She will graduate with a BA in speech/language pathology and will continue on to grad school somewhere undecided… our son, N, is 12 yrs old and working hard not to make us nuts in 7th grade. They are almost exactly 10 years apart – by choice… not by accident. J It has been wonderful to have 2 only children.
How they react to moving: K, in my rose-colored glasses, loved moving! I think she handled the moves very well, until the last 2 which were difficult for all of us. As they get older, their friendships grow deeper and it just hurt to say goodbye. Those last 2 were hard on all of us. N, he was so young that he just rolled along. When we landed here, our last base, K proclaimed this “our final resting place” and said we could move if we wanted, but she was officially done. So sayeth K. We all agreed and here we are.
Number of moves: 8 assignments… a few relocations in the same town.
Deployments: Define deployment? There were jobs where Mike was gone M-F and returned for Sat/Sun for 9 months, he went to Saudi Arabia for 4 months, he went TDY all the time… but the longest was the 4 months. Those short trips away are the secret to a long, happy marriage. J
Dream retirement location: We are close to our dream location. We want to live closer to the water. Mike prefers the ocean, I want the river… there will certainly be some compromising down the road, but we will always be here in Brevard County… we need to see all the launches and keep our tans going.
Current job: My current job is substitute teaching. At least that’s the job I get paid for. I do that 2 days a week at my discretion. I have other jobs that are unpaid, as most everyone I know does. I am Team Development for our Relay for Life event, I am team captain for our family/friends team called Wine-ing For A Cure for the past several years, I am Advancement Chair for Nick’s Boy Scout Troop of 28 boys, and if there is any time left after that… I clean my house.
Hobbies: I think my hobby is traveling. I love to see new places and try new things. I don’t have a regular activity that I do… I think I have ADD in that regard. I love to cook, and I love being a mom. I do enjoy people watching… is that a hobby? I like to figure out what makes people do the stuff they do, why they act the way they do, and then look for some compassionate way to feel about them. I don’t always find it, but I keep looking.
Your strengths and weaknesses: I think my weakness is my mouth. It’s always open. I know it, and anyone who knows me knows it, too. Not always a bad thing, but I am working on being a listener more than the other. Mike would say I hold a grudge, but is that a weakness…? ;) I think I am a good people person. I love how everyone is just a little different than me. I think I surround myself with very strong women friends, and they keep me fresh. I am a good friend to those I love, and am trying to be a better sister/daughter to catch up on all the years we missed growing up apart. I think I have a good sense of humor, which often gets me in trouble. I am passionate about my causes… like Relay for Life. I bleed purple, I think. I am not afraid to tell people why I Relay and why they should too. I am a strong advocate for the things I believe in. I believe Cancer Sucks, and needs to be a disease of the past – like Polio.
Have you ever gone cow tipping? Not that I remember!
The moving van just caught on fire…what three things would you want to save: I used to think my “things” were so important, but as I get older I realize I don’t need that stuff as much. I would want to save my photos, my kids’ baby books and mementos and my Granny’s Family Bible.
Are you superstitious and if yes, how so: I think bad things happen in 3s so I watch out for that. But I am a firm believer that there is a path pre-determined for my life and when it’s my time… it’s my time. I strongly believe in karma and what you put out there, you will receive many times over.
Favorite quote: You can plan the plan, but you can’t plan the outcome. By John McAleenan (that's her father-in-law)
Biggest regret: I try to live with little or no regrets, but I regret that we didn’t make it back to FL before John McAleenan passed away. I regret that I didn’t make it back for my childhood friend’s wedding because I had to work. I will never make that choice again…
Five most important things in your life: My family and being a mom is very important to me. The friends I can’t imagine never having met -- My Chosen Family. My Granny Necklace that my mom and sister have as well. It makes me feel loved to wear it. My health is important to me, and I’m coming to grips with the fact that I may actually have to exercise one of these days… and time alone is important to me as I get older. I like just being with me.
Where you were on 9/11: We lived in a small Italian town called Porcia, outside of Aviano Air Base. Mike was TDY to Saudi Arabia. It was surreal to come home from the bus stop and see it on the Today Show. We just sat mesmerized by the images until the phone rang from the base telling us to stay inside and not come to the base. Mike called 2 days later when he could. We never felt in danger in our home. Our Italian neighbors all came over and hugged me and asked about Mike. It was nice knowing they were there. Watching the base transform to a high level of security with HumVees and M-16s on every soldier was intimidating but soon became our new norm. Weird, weird times.
What makes you proud to be a military spouse: I always loved being a military spouse. I think it’s the coolest, most elite group of people in the world. Who else gives themselves so freely to everyone else? Who else gives up their career to support their spouse? Who else laughs at wimpy women who complain because their husbands are going fishing for the weekend and they are scared? Who else digs in deep and fast and makes such an impact on a place in just 3 yrs!? Military spouses reach out, they care about each other, they “get it”. I miss that a lot.
What makes you sad about being a military spouse: I don’t think I was ever sad about being a spouse. I was sad to leave or say “see you later” to friends, but I always loved being a “sponge”.
What you would like people to know about military spouses: I would like people to know that housing is not “free”. Medical care is not “free”. I would like people to appreciate how scary it can be for a spouse to go to Iraq or Afghanistan, several times, even if that’s their career field. I would like people to thank the ones who stay behind to keep it all going. I would like people to know that military spouses don’t ask for sympathy, they would just like you to understand that they are proud of their spouse regardless of who is sitting in the White House.
I would like people who are considering this crazy lifestyle to know that military families are a special breed. If stress and chaos freak you out, you’ll get used to it. If moving and meeting new people seems like an impossible task to do every 3 years, reach out and ask another spouse where the best grocery store is, the best hairdresser and pediatrician. It’s an adventure! It’s sort of like a secret society – a sisterhood. It’s like a great, big OJT program!! Wouldn’t trade that time for anything.
Whew.
Miss you, Becky!
If you would like to donate to Becky's Relay for Life team, or find out more info about what all the hubbub is about, check it out at:
Happy Friday, everyone!
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